★..HANZ BLAZINSKI..★

an unforgettable surprise

2010-04-16T15:54:00.004+08:00

it's a long and sweet post. I don't expect anyone of you to read the whole thing. But if you want to, why not?

had a fun day yesterday. Although it was depressing in the morning, but my day was brighten up by a sweet angel(:

It started off with a fight actually. Me not being important to her. Seriously, I was this close to calling it quits but I'm a very patient guy. She was busy with her stuff and neglecting me. Who wouldn't be angry right? Being neglected is the last thing I want from her. So we quarrel and I didn't wish her. I was sad and emotional and I slept along with my sorrowness.

In the morning, I didn't see her. She was nowhere to be seen. I asked around and sadly, it was a disappointment knowing that she didn't came. But then she pointed to her and I was smiling again. I passed something to she to give to her. I know her would definitely like it alot.

So after school, went studying with Syafi'in and Reen. I was finishing up my English homework. I wasnt actually doing, just merely copying. While I was doing my stuff, saw Nadzirah's brother. I wanted to tell him that his sister was sick but I was afraid to do so. so around 4, Syafi'in said he wanted to call his ex. Finish talking, he wanted me to go home. I was like 'what the hell is wrong with this guy'. then took the bus together with him and eventually alighted the bus.

While walking to the lift, I was amazed, astonished, flabbergasted, overwhelmed, stunned, shocked, surprised, whichever word is synonym with surprised. I couldn't believe my eyes. She was there, waiting for me outside my lift, and under my block. It was like a fantasy. I thought I was dreaming. I was speechless. I demand for an explanation from her. It turned out Syafi'in knew about it. It was a surprise.

And the rest of the night, was exquisitely amazing... I enjoyed every single second I had with her. If only I knew, I could've bring her to town. But I still enjoyed yesterday(: Everytime I make my way back home, I wish she was there to surprise me again. I can't stop smiling thinking about that romantic, idealistic, sweet, dreamy and quixotic incident.

2010-01-25T22:33:00.002+08:00

the only picture I'm able to get into the computer....

without you, I'm incomplete
without you, I'm not what I am now
without you, my life has turn upside down and into ruins. I didn't know that all those oaths we've made to each other are just blown away together with the wind. Why must we deserve this kind of problems which will lead to unsurpassed circumstances. I can't even think or face the reality that we could even break apart from each other. We swore and yet we broke it.

I really miss you badly and I can't stop having this love about you lying deeply in my heart. My heart aches when your are and now, my heart aches for what I've done. If only I think before i do....

2010-01-07T22:31:00.000+08:00

I'm heartbroken....

If only you were here with me but you didn't

2009-12-25T00:54:00.003+08:00

Patrol 4 KL trip, from left, "fish"(oneida), nisa, hazimah, wai man (dunman dove), Danny( malaysian rover scout), brian ( oneida), Mr sim(dunman sec), shidiq(dunman dove), sha(oneida), me"restless orca" ( white stag), bernard( white stag) and sean( kijang)

long time...

okay I really killed my blog. My blog is damn dead. No post and I guess no one is reading my blog now.

December 21st, my so called 8 months knowing my girlfriend. Its knd a weird celebrating our friendship. haha. Nevertheless, happy 8 months knowing eachother darling. haha. I'm damn proud with my darling for getting 10 points for her 'N' levels, its kinda obvious she's gonna be the top student in the school. Well, good job my dear !

December 21st, the day i got my results. I really hate my form teacher. Early in the morning he gave me a wake up call. This is what he say,

" hello, farhan ah. when are you gonna get your results back ? ", leong.

" today ah. can ? ", farhan

" okay , you want to know how much you get ", leong

" okay", farhan

" I'm sorry to say ah farhan....congrats you made it to sec 5 with 18 points ! ", leong

That last conversation before he say congrats almost made me cry man !. He is seriously an asshole I tell you, putting people on their nerves !. pfft ! screw him. I'm kinda happy yet disappointed at myself though. Okay good job to myself for getting below 19 points to pursue to sec 5 but i was disppointed that I didn't get a place for higher nitec because i got a grade 5 in my mathematics. Never mind then, as long as I can go to sec 5, I'm happy. Total I got 18 points and I'm happy that i got grade 3 in my Food & nutrition, highest in my class.

1 week since the KL trip and I miss the moments over there. I hope there will be more overseas events coming up. Looking forward. I really miss my patrol especially wai man and "fish", we were damn close and we've gone through rough times handling the young scouts, well we're ventures right ? to lead and guide is in the venture blood. haha.

well gtg dudes. merry christmas

2009-12-17T16:30:00.002+08:00

post from kuala lumpur and dedicated to my beloved,

Dear, I'm sorry have left you for kuala lumpur and make you feel soo bored and sad. i understand how you feel now actually because i can feel your heart. Zirah sayang, when you say my name is fading from your heart, it really makes me feel sad. I'm always here for you and your name will never be washed from my heart. please hold on dear ! i will be back to you again

tomorrow is 18 decmber , my homecoming and also our 'N' level results. i wish you all the best dear. you will go to sec 5. trust me. every year getting money from the ministry is a confirm ticket to secondary 5 dear. hehe. No matter what, i will always love you.

you are my everything, please don't erase my name from your heart. love you nur nadzirah

2009-11-12T05:37:00.003+08:00

( N97 mini)

Few more dollars and that phone above is mine !. I'm saving up every single dollar just to get that phone. The N97 just attracts my heart to it, I don't know why. Currently I've collected $350 in my bank and it's just $500 more to go !
8 December will be the day I'm gonna get that freaking phone together with my darling at 'theplaceIwillnotmention'.

Life is very boring I tell you. Wake up, go to work, eat at home and sleep. Nothing happening currently. I'm not going spend a single dollar just to collect a sum of a $1000+ for the sake of my financial future. I'm thinking of donating some of my money to charity. Seems kind of weird for you guys but it's sad seeing people beg for money just to buy biscuits to eat and a drinkable water to drink. Pity you know !! ha ha

Zierah and I, so far going quite well. No quarrel so far(fingers crossed). This coming Sunday is our 5months together, quite fast right ? ha ha. So long since I saw her pretty face. Miss her soo much. I hope she can make it on 8 December, to spend time with her before I fly away to the land of pure Malays and cheap cigarettes. ha ha.

My God !, results are just 6 weeks away from now. So near yet so far. I'm really praying for good results. I don't care much now, if I go ITE so be it( touch wood !!). If I'm able to go Sec 5, THANK GOD !!

well, That's all i have to say right now. take care !

2009-10-29T23:49:00.004+08:00

(Maldives, the place I want to be with you)

School life is coming to an end, thank God. Suffering for 10 years in school life has really paid of my life time. I feel a sense of affliction for not studying and putting my efforts in school. I wasted my entire life fooling around like a rebellious brat doing awful and sinful things that no one can ever thought of me doing. Nevertheless, the past is the past and like some people say, " Don't cry over spilled milk".

People might see me as one of the most daring or a 'knock chip off shoulder' guy in school. Doing things that are unimaginable for a 16 year old teenager could ever do. Also, rebelling against teachers and caught up in fights with friends and whatsoever. I'm glad that I'm not in that situation again. The old dauntless Farhan has finally be resurrected to a newly changed guy. I've finally know the true meaning of being a Muslim. Being Patient, Generous, Kind hearted, Forgiving, accept the fact and fate and finally differentiate what is right and what is wrong. I've finally know who I'm truly am right now.

Helping people has been my main values in my life. Giving them aid in times of agony has been the most beautiful thing a person can do in return for God's help to me. Now I realised that helping people is useless and its just a stab in the back after helping them. Now I see the true colours my friends do in my kind and generous help. Well, helping people has always been in my blood and I can't changed that and therefore I will never help my friends unless they really need me.

I really miss scouting a lot. Going for long and fatigue hiking under the blazing hot Sun, marching drills coordinated by our enraged leaders, pioneering with old poles and knotting was a way of life in scouting. The impregnable 10 will never be forgotten !. Our bond are too strong to be broken and the friendship and brotherhood of the stags will never be gone into oblivion. Venturing, hmmm... currently mute due to time constrains and exams but the council have planned numerous numbers of activities for us and I hope it'll be fun !

Affable Mantis, Zesty Seal, Singing Gorilla, Leaping Jackal, Cheery beagle and lastly Restless Orca- NA stags

Kuala Lumpur trip December !, can't wait.

Last but not least, my love for you. 4months++ we were attached and 7months++ we've known each other and I hope our love can last long . Every moments I have with you will never be forgotten as its the most sweetest moments I have in my life and even i can relate that in my dream .I don't want to say anything about what you have said to me but let me tell you this, I will never stop loving you my dear ! you have been the light in my dark tunnel, the saviour who has resurrected me and the love of my life. i know we have difficulties now and I wish you the best in your days to come. Your kind and pure love will never be forgotten or crashed out of my mind. I've tattooed your name across my heart and its impossible to get rid of. I love you Nadzirah and I'll be waiting for you. <3

take care blogger......

2009-10-15T20:18:00.002+08:00

Many people has started blogging, well, busy body ah sikit beb....hahaha

'N' levels are officially over last week and I have no bloody confidence of even passing with good grades. I did all i can without hesitation on that day but the outcome after the exams are unbearable to handle; Always the pessimistic I can say.

Dreams are just a mind game of the demon but what i dreamt about is truly unimaginable. Ever imagine dreaming you getting 21 points for 'N' levels two times ? or seeing your girlfriend with another guy? and when nobody was by your side, suicide was the antidote for your serenity?
(raise my hand up high and pray it will never happen)

15 June 2009- 15 October 2009= 4 months !

You and me, 4 months together !
truly remarkable
no words can depict our love game
I love you, you love me
I trust you and you trust me
one aim for our love: to last long forever with pure love.
I love you nur nadzirah :D

2009-09-07T06:28:00.001+08:00

7 september 2009

N level commence.
Good luck to all taking N levels. Pass with flying colours and onward to sec 5 or ITE.
(6.30am)

2009-07-23T19:02:00.007+08:00

I'm hurt and moodless. You don't even noticed it. You see myself as a strong proud man,you're wrong.

I always need you to start my day with a bang

i always need your hugs and kisses to pump up my love

I tried to make our relationship to be perfect, I can't and I will never stop trying to make it perfect

I always think of you,dream of you till my life was affected

You think I don't want to meet you because my friends are important,think again

Easy saying and for example, you're love and our relationship is important like my love to my mother!

This is the first time you broke my heart

It's not your fault,but it's mine

so,

I gave you the freedom to be alone, now I want to be alone for myself to be crashing into oblivion

I feel so devastated and solemn.

I'm deeply sorry.

Much love.

2009-07-21T00:09:00.003+08:00

Damn such a long time since i blogged in. Lazy with blogging

Well things are silent these day means there's no fights between darling and me. I don't like quarrels in my relationship but what my mother always say, when couples fight, you will learn from the mistakes you've made and you will tend to get closer than you could ever imagine. Besides that, Darling and I just celebrated 1 month together last week. In the beginning, she was damn angry and solemn but when we sat down at the third floor and talked things out, things were back to normal.Darling and I exchanged gifts and although her gift was simple,it's the most priceless gift I could ever have and I don't care wether it's expensive or cheap,as long as your love to me will always burn brightly in your heart and your heat will always be mine.I really need to confess about my darling, I'm very scared when my darling is angry, her face will changed from a sweet innocent child to an outrageous tiger. whhooo!!scary, totally terrified. ha ha. Although my darling is always like this, I will always know that she will always be my sweet, beloved, cute, and gorgeous girlfriend and I will always love her just the way she is. Love you sweetheart.

Back to life. I'm slacking!! Fuck , prelims are just around the corner and I could still slack around like a lazy asshole.I was absent from school not just because of sore eyes but I was freaking lazy of attending school. Got to buck up my ass off to ace on this exams and fulfill my criteria of achieving to secondary 5. Exams are just around the corner, so near yet so far.

OK, due to insomnia, I can't sleep. Should have woke up early so I could sleep early now. Fuck with my laziness.

Well, I don't want to drage on with my lame stories. i want to do some homework and get done with it. Fyi, my darling is messaging me because she can't sleep.haha. What a great couple we both are.haha

Arrivederci e buona notte

p.s; te amour zierah.

2009-07-12T04:54:00.002+08:00

Every day

i wonder

whether I'm right for her

worthy of her

ready to accept her love

ready to dedicate my life to her

I kept thinking about the past

how I was left

alone

betrayed

being 'played'

but that's the past

let bygones be bygones

I don't want to differentiate her with others

she's better than others

exquisite for my eyes

the one for me

But sometimes

history may repeat itself

and lets hope it won't happen again

she's better than me

smarter than me

but I'm an average guy

Yes she keeps me going

gives me love I couldn't imagine

very closed to me

she's my love

my girlfriend

But

somehow

I feel that I'm not the guy for her

In a days time,it's 1 month

will it still go on

will it last long

.......................

All i want is a simple yet perfect relationship

but I'm the one not worthy to be simple

2009-07-05T15:50:00.006+08:00

i'm dumb

i'm stupid

i'm a idiot

how could i do such a thing

why did i put my habit first

am i blind

how could i even lie to her

such a beautiful lie i've created

do i love her

must i give up

should i fall

will she forgive

where is she

has she forgotten me

is she gonna move on

nothing in my life was ever perfect to anyone

my friends

my family

even my girlfriend

why can't i be the one for all

because of me

an apocalyptic fight has begun

between her and me

will we ever recover

to forgive and forget

be gone into oblivion

the both of us

apart

seeking for a new life

all beacause of

my foolishness

i want you back dear

but it seems you wouldn't

if i promise

will you agree

will you trust me

will you forgive me

my heart is aching

because you're hurt

i can feel you now

feeling so dissappointed

crying all night long

feeling all alone

feeling betrayed

i'm sorry

i really do

please forgive me and lets turn over a new leaf

i love and i miss you so much dear

i can't stand one day without you

you're my patriot

my lover

the one i've achieved

my valentine

overall,

you're my beloved 15 june

please come back

i need you

2009-07-03T18:45:00.002+08:00

Currently on hiatus but i decided to blog....

I had a bad dream last night. Seriously,it was the most horrible dreams of my life and i hope i wouldn't come true. I dreamt about 16 december; 'N' level results, firstly i smiled at my form teacher and he smiled me back pleasently and then he gaved me an ITE letter, i thought it was a letter saying about joining ITE as an option but when i received my results, my heart just burst like a balloon, instead of going to sec 5 with an expected 15 or 16 points, I've got 24 points for my 'N' levels while the rest of my class got below 19. I was really flabbergasted. Tears kept dripping down from my vary eyes.Damn disappointing.

I hope this horrific dream won't come true

Secondly,as days goes by so does our love drifting apart. It's hard talking to her in school.I always wonder how is she copes with her life and also wondering about her love towards me. I do understand her lifestyle and i always love the way she lives it ,but i always kept thinking of her every minute every second. She's the first and the last for me and i don't want anything or anyone to ruin this youthful relationship.

Yesterday was the most magical day of my life with her so far,i've finally got a kiss from her;the first ever from someone other than my family and also the one who gave me a kiss was my very own girlfriend. Damn it was magic,chills starting to crawl up my spine after she kissed. I hope this will not be the last kiss from her..haha

well,thats all for now. Will update if i have the time and story to share.

arrivederci bloggers
ps; te amour zierah

2009-06-21T03:34:00.001+08:00

All I have done in my life is just a disappointment to you. Nothing is good and pleasing to you.

Tell me mum, what I have done wrong to deserve this curse especially on my birthday. Your words do break the fragile heart of me.

Every time I have a scout meeting, you think I went out to smoke and hang out.

When I went for night class, you thought I went out dating even though a teacher called you; you though it was my friend, can’t you even differentiate?

When I have a scout camp, you thought I went camping at the beach drinking and taking drugs.

When I went for Friday prayers, you don’t even believe me, you thought I hang out.

You don’t even have any trust or hopes for me and what hurts the most, you don’t treat me like your son.

What I’ve done to deserve a mother like this? Should I be happy to have a mother who always think negatively and kept mocking me?

I’ve always kept quiet. Every time you beat me with a cane, scolding me with vulgarities and cursing me, I’ve kept quiet and didn’t kept any grudges against you because I do know you’re my savior and most importantly, you’re my mother. You beat me up and throw thing is not going to hurt me but it do hurts me in the inside; my heart.
Is this fate?

What you said to me today really hurts me a lot, it’s my birthday and you don’t even bother and yet saying those harsh words, is that a gift? I don’t want any presents or cakes or whatever, I just want love from you. What happened to you mummy? You’re not like the mummy I used to know.
It hurts feeling left out in the family. I just can’t fit in to them. With that, you still think negatively about it; choose friends rather than family? What’s your point mum?

I can’t change your feelings or talk to you personally because it’s useless.Even though you think i'm a brat to the family,i'll still love you mom.

Note to self; the second child is always heartache to the family….

2009-06-20T03:03:00.001+08:00

Today’s 20th June and tomorrow’s 21st June, My birthday. According to the Gregorian calendar, this was the exact day I was let out to this world.

Plans for this weekend, I’m having a chalet at Costa sands resort in pasir ris. Sure a fun and “ecstatic” day for Fik and me; celebrating his birthday too.

So far, life is exquisitely memorable for me. Finally, I’m in a relationship with her. Proposed to her at the top of the world; Singapore flyer. Seriously, seeing her so shock and petrified due to her fear of height was cute but it was touching. This sounds weird to you but I’ve proposed to her on her birthday because 21st June marks the 3 month we’ve known each other. Cool right. Hope our relationship will last long and not into oblivion my dear.

Let me tell you what happened on that day, met her at MacDonald and waited for her for 15 minutes; fashionably late. Took the train to Bugis and gave her three choices for lunch, western, Indian, Chinese or Malay. She made a wise and a good choice there. After lunch, took a train and also gave two choices, air or water. Still she made a good and a wanting choice which depicts how I want it to happen. After the trip into the sky, took a taxi to E Hub to catch a movie. That’s all; don’t want to elaborate the movie part, too R21.haha
Seriously, one day without seeing her or listening to her high pitch voice is really a heartache for me. I miss her every second now. I hope she could make it on Sunday.

Well, that’s all for now. Have a great weekend and have a splendid holidays.

p.s. I miss you…

2009-06-11T21:28:00.003+08:00

So I think a lot

when there’s nothing I want to say

So I blink a lot

when you make me nervous when I stay

Drop your arms to your sides

Its ok to smileJust relax

This is me, this is you

No one else here just us two

Maybe I laugh a lot it just means things go my way

If I crave you a lot its cause I love you come what may

Drop your arms to your sides

Its ok to smile

Just relax

This is me, this is you

No one else here just us two

And all I have said

And all we have made

Will last us forever

Forever

So drop your arms to your sides

Its ok to smile

Just relax

This is me, this is you

No one else here just us two

2009-06-09T20:18:00.004+08:00

I've tried to be someone else
but nothing seems to changed
I've know now
This is who I really am
inside
finally found myself
fighting for a chance
i know now

this is who i really am.

2009-06-06T00:08:00.005+08:00

Dear Nadzirah,

After yesterday cheeky incident,my heart tells me that you are the one for me.I'm really in love with you and let me tell you this;you are the love of my life,my very first love.

I always try and do my very best to make you happy and fell in love with me , do you still remember the hand phone strap i gave you on the 3rd June 2009 UG campfire night?.Seeing you so ecstatic and cheerful really soothe my heart whispering to me that I've done what is was aiming to do.

Above that,i can't live without seeing or feel your indulging presence. I feel like kidnapping you and take you to an deserted island where you and me can live in prosper and into oblivion of human eyes.So far,you have not broken my heart or shattered into pieces.I'm touched by your loving actions towards me.

On the 15 June 2009,the day that marks the birth of you and also the birth of our soon to be relationship.Even though there are barriers between us,a minute for me to announced my love to you on the 15 June really makes a huge difference in our lives. I don't want you to disobey your parents or breaking up your friendship just because of me but as long as your heart is with me,I'm delighted.

With a hearty and "garang" heart,i would like to make a special oath that I will always love you and will always wait for you to recover from your hurtful,tear dropping misery.I promise you.

Before ending this,i would like to make another oath that if really 15 June do happen,I will assure you that i will always be there for you and will be the saviour for your difficulties.I will love you till the day my eyes were laid shut forever.

p.s. I love you.

2009-05-22T22:43:00.002+08:00

1 more week to 'O' level mother tongue.....

Sorry for not updating my blog.Too much activities in school nowadays.I'm just a week away from my first national paper.Although I'm not scared of sitting the paper,I'm just fearing about the outcome when i get my results.Will I get what I want or not?.

This few days seems odd for me.I can't find the reason why but it sounds quite odd these days.Ever imagine waking up early in the morning on a typical school day and realising that you're the only siglapian to go to school or just sitting down in class or in the quadrangle where almost everyone is gazing at you?.Do you ever feel that weird feeling?.This week really feels weird.

A problem I'm facing now.More like an difficulty for me rather than a problem for me. I CAN'T SLEEP!!.Serious, I can't sleep at night.This thing call insomnia;a lack or insufficient amount of sleep,sleeplessness.I'm really getting sick of this habit.My mother usually said to me that if you can't sleep at night,it means that someone is thinking deeply about you.i don't believe in this but i Hope it's true.

chows bloggers...

2009-05-16T01:11:00.002+08:00

So long never blog in.lazy plus sore eyes.

Well,exams are finally over but the it's not the time yet to switch off the body engines and relax.This is only mid-year.There's still prelims and 'N' levels coming along.Not forgetting 'O' as well.

What i heard from my friends is what i presume unsatisfying.Managed to pass social studies but I've yet to know the other subject soon.Two days quarantine isn't my cup of tea.Seriously,it's boring staying at home doing nothing.sitting here in this solitary home really rots me.Well,nothing to say but the regretion of getting this disease really take it's toll on me.

i've qouted this saying that "In order to win,you have to loose and learn the mistakes that you made ,that's what you call a winning".It's true what this qoute really mean.In order to ace in your achievement let say exams,you have to fail in order to pass in the upcoming exams.Im not saying that you have to fail so you can pass but once you fail,it does not mean you will fail in the future but you must work hard and study well so you will know what's the mistake that you have made.

Mid-year is not an issue for me but it's a test to know which subject i'm weak in.When the results are finallised,by then i will presume studying the mistakes i have made and try re-correcting the errors in that particular area.

"desidero che possa ottenere vicino voi e dirgli che lo gradico. Gli ho sempre da allora uno schiacciamento quel giorno i conosciuto voi. La vostra voce realmente lo ha toccato dentro e fuori. Il vostro corpo lo tenta nei miei sogni. Realmente lo gradico e spero l'un giorno, posso avere il valore di dirgli il mio amore più profondo a voi".

2009-05-09T01:18:00.003+08:00

Hallelujah!.Exams are 80% done.Only left with F&N and mother tongue(list. compre).Seriously the maths paper was an average easy.My first time in my history of taking maths paper i did it completely without leaving any blanks.Hope i will past .Praised the lord for that hope.

F&N topics are hard but yet easy.Mdm Sharul gave the topics for us to study,which she said was questions that came out for 'O' levels last year.OK,in that case i will do my best to ace it and try to beat the other 9 F&N students.ha ha

Life so far is quite fatigued .Coming home early after exams and sleep till the evening and study till late in the wee hours burning the mid-night oil just to do well in exams.It's gonna be a habit for me if i keep doing it everyday.

I'm so gonna watch a movie during the weekday school break.what shall i watch?X-men or star trek?i can't decide.One more thing,will anyone want to join me?any girls want to join me for a movie date?ha ha

Serenity in your conquest,fortify your endurance and not blind your way into oblivion.

I've been wanting to share this sentence which i created during the exam period.what does it mean?well,

Serenity in your conquest;be patient and calm in your life which is full of obstacles and difficulties for you to face.many of you'll and i face challenges like heartbreaks,stressed after exams and so forth but be patient in every step you take.What you get will shape your life.It's just part and parcel of a complicated life.

Fortify your endurance;strengthen and protect your dignity in enduring your most troubled situations from other threats to prevent intense breakdown in your troubled life.One problem given,protect it and solve it as soon as possible so you can move on peacefully and lively.

Not blind your way into oblivion;do not blind yourself in failure which may result you in complete lost and end up being unknown with others with your solitary life.

Overall,what this sentence really means is to overcome your difficulties patiently and endure it with the changes in life and not make it a habit till you are completely lost and unknown to others.

take care readers....chows..

2009-05-01T01:53:00.003+08:00

30 April 2009(late blogging)

For the first time in my my life, I've totally forgotten my mum's birthday.I felt guilty for her for not celebrating her birthday.Well,to busy with school work so i hope she understand.HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!. You have been the saviour of my life.There's no woman that can replace your heart full love and the sacrifice you have made for me now.yet again I LOVE YOU!.

Eventually,today's exams was piece of cake(excluding mother tongue).I was glad that report writing came out.I'm confident that i will pass paper 1.For mother tongue,i hope i can at least get a passing grade for it.To eased cikgu Latifah heart,i managed to do two full pages of letter writing and 2 1/2 pages of free writing.If i failed for this mother tongue,i gonna screw the marker upside down.

I really used up my time re-writing the whole essay.it was good to use up your timing.When you re-write your essay,you will definitely spot your mistakes.when i re-write my essay,i spotted lots of grammar mistakes and error in sentence structure.I was satisfied by this action.Although i didn't managed to sleep,i was happy to used up my time.

I've now started to buck up.Spending my after school life not hanging out with friends but studying at home.Yes i do hang out after school but for a short while only.I hope i get what I'm expecting for this mid-year exams(figure's crossed).

20 December-23 December.Bali!!.can't wait for this dates.$500 worth spending there.Day and night activities will be a hell of a time before i proceed to sec 5 or ite(hope not!).I hope i can meet the quota of at least ten people so i can rent a luxurious house in the top of a hill in Bali.the sea view,free drinks,endless fun i just months away.The only key to this fun is the certificate that will indicate my future.

Scouting

The plc 08 have managed to clinch gold for 2008 frank cooper sand's award.Although i was unexpected,we were glad to hear the news and satisfied for our deed in white stags.I hope This year's venture unit will clinch Gold for the frank cooper sand's award venture section so we can hang our gold plug at the foyer and satisfy our principal.

............

2009-04-30T00:10:00.002+08:00

Grudge;A Feeling of Ill Will or Resentment

Do i bear grudges towards you?,NO but i bear disappointments about you.I'm a serious person .Whatever i do,it's a form of gratitude from me to you.Since that day when i invited you for lunch,I'm damn fucked up and enraged by your infamous attitude.You don't want your moral to tumble into the drain because you are a free loader?.fuck shit yeah

Every time we took a cab to school,i don't mind paying the fare because i want to help you and preventing you from being late for school.That's not what you call a free loader.That's me helping you.I'm helping you!

Every time i looked at you in school,i feel like smacking your face to wake you up and try to accept my kind gratitude.It's a small appreciation from me to you and you still think about your moral?wake up la.

you must live with this "give and take" situation happening around you.When I'm in need,people will help me but when their times of need,i will repay their kind acts.

Do you now understand what I'm feeling right now?.

Small matter can lead to big conflict you know.

I know when is the limits of helping .I don't help people who always stab people behind their backs and taking advantages .Helping you is like helping myself.This is the only deed i can do .Your rejection is my key to the dark side.

Reflect this and put it inside your head ah.If you really think you are a free loader,don't bother talking to me and i really mean it.

2009-04-29T21:37:00.002+08:00

Mid-year exams is just tomorrow.I'm ready for it.I'm 90% ready for it.Don't want to have full confidence of it.

Phone was confiscated today by the infamous Anwar.The idiotic son of a bitch!.Well,the stiry goes like this.Rizal used his phone and plugged his phone into the school system blablabla.He played some songs.Then mr Anwar was walking from the lift and fadhil told us about his arrival.I quickly plugged out the cable and throw his phone away so Mr Anwar would not see.When he came into the class,he questioned me and spot checked me.There it goes my phone.

Because of my friend's fault,I was put to blame.What a stupid thing to do.

Promised me to lend me his spare phone,I made my way to school hoping for a spare phone after he finished his night study.Turns out,he didn't went to the night study.Damn enraged by his actions.PAITAU KING!!!

haha...

2009-04-27T23:04:00.002+08:00

Fucking shagged today.

I have now completed 2/3 dishes for F&N practical.Now it's left with 1 which is my dessert.What shall i cook huh?cookies?.i don't know.In school,starring at $@&!=( is so heartbreaking.seriously

I feel so depressed right now.I'm gonna feel a sense of sadness and grief because of something quite heart killing and unbearable to endure.It's just one of my plague i can't stand.feeling the sense of hurt really puts me in the end zone .This is really a test to fortify my endurance and to face the fact of whats going to be felt tomorrow.

I wonder how long I'm going to be like this .must i hide withing the crowd to face this plague that has been haunting me for the last 1 year?.why i can't just let go of what has happened?.Is it in my nature to feel this crucial pain?.

FATE; Something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot: It is always his fate to be left behind.

Is this word really made me to be who I'm really am right now?why can't i avoid these things that descends upon me.why can't i turn back time to refresh that particular scenario.Its either that scenario or the whole story.If i really changed the past,i will never fell this pain ever.But why i choose this path that leads to everlasting heartache?.Is this really fate that sets in?

Change to a better person is like waiting for rain to fall in the dessert.It's impossible for me to change to be a better man and to accept the lost and the victory of that person .How fucked up am i now?

I've set my laws to be very straight forward.Academic life,Love life,friendship,passion are totally a different things in my life.the only life that is really a pain in the ass in none other than love.To forget and to accept is hard for me.seriously.

i can't stand it.Ever will i be free to be in peace?.To escape to an island for me to endorse in relaxing?.Will love and fate interlock with each other to make a last stand against me and making me suffer?

1 question that is really pressurizing me;

Why am i to close to this love thingy till it's killing me inside?

2009-04-25T00:43:00.002+08:00

Due to irritating people demanding me to update my blog,I've come to conclusion that i to must do what my peeps decreed.

Well,school start off with an awful and dirty morning.I Almost got suspended for recklessly scolding vulgarities to the discipline master.can you imagine that?.A discipline master was scolded by a student.He lets me go but that's not the end.The five F&N boys went to the home Eco room to put our food supplies there,when we reached the quadrangle,we were caught for absconding there i was put on a temporally suspension area for mocking the school rules.Seriously speaking,Siglap's rules are so lame.Hope i will do my 'O' levels next year and fuck off from the school asap!...

Mid-year examinations is coming and i am 75% sure of passing this test and acing well in english,humanities,science and passing in the rest(fingure crossed).

Before i go,i will leave you with this qoute i qouted from a famous poet in the 18th century. " Love is like a fire. But whether it's gonna warm your heart or burn your house down you can never tell !".

2009-04-14T22:03:00.002+08:00

Two days fever but still go to school.Cannot take MC this days.Exams are around the corner.attendance is compulsory to go on to secondary 5.So must chop chop!.I'm starting to feel the competitive edge here.Feeling so weak after school,wining around in school.My fever is just at the tip of the brim.would be very soon when i can't take it.

School today and yesterday was quite OK besides having fitness test today.Damn!.straight golds but one bronze;Pull ups.I only can do 2 which makes it silver for all.Such a waste man.But who gives a hack,probably my last years in Siglap so what deal am i supposed to pass my fitness test.

19 more days to mid year exams!.Giving all my best shots to ace all my subjects.Will see few A1 around and a 5 for one particular subject;maths.(overconfident speech is the best way to soothed the tiring stressed brain).

siglap is now famous for its violence to the vice-principal.Yes I've read the Monday's newspaper and it has written the siglapians pron ed to violence.Such hilarious article i should say.I've seen the vice-principal so strict and has no fear in any situation made possible but when i read the article,the picture spoke a thousand words.a hilarious article y'all must read.takecare..

2009-04-12T03:37:00.004+08:00

I'm damn irritated if y'all giving nick names in my tag board which i didn't know who the fuck you are.I'm not that kind of person who wants you to write your full name but please,write your exact name where i can indicate who you are.Zee,please tell me your real name.I'm so irritated by your uncivilised actions.I don't even have a friend by the name of zee.The only person close to that name is nadzierah whom she too does not use that nick name.So please take this into consideration and put your name properly cause I'm freaking don't know who the fuck you are.

Thursday nights worth remembering....

It was so last minute man.My first time going to a place where I myself are not allowed to go into this sinful place.It's between the guys and me to know.You want to know,ask me personally yeah.Went out at about 11.30 pm of Thursday to 6am on Friday.went back home half dead.

2009-04-09T21:33:00.002+08:00

Didn't have a chance to post.Freaking lazy and tired to post.Busy with a hectic schedule of school.

Thursday seems to be so fatigue nowadays.So tired after school.Went home and dive into my comfy bed.Wake up into the wee hours of the night just to have dinner and study.Not a wise schedule right?.I was supposed to run some errands today as foretold by my parents.But due to some foolish immature act of violence,I've decided not to do my errands but to do it other days

Venture meeting was quite fun and tiring.I can't imagine the difference of the atmosphere of scouting and venturing.It's totally different.When i was a scout,there's no such thing as slacking or having fun.We work our asses off to reach the criteria of scouting.Push ups,hiking,pioneering and lots more.But when you have invested into venturing,it's a totally different aspect of your scouting life.You will receive fun,slack,entertainment.That's why it's different.

I'm so over with my crush.There is no more communications between us.She just dozed off into oblivion .In school,it's just a normal hi & byes sort of thing.So i'm over you!.

I just can't depict unknown's way of life.Unknown seems to be lost and depressed everytime we met.I've tried to help unknown,but unknown seems to be so darn stubborn sometimes.Should i consult her angryily or furiously(both have different styles and level of madness)?.Decide.

2009-04-05T02:53:00.003+08:00

Just came back from work...tired sia

OK.One thing I would like to share with you.DO NOT!kayak when you see dark clouds and it's drizzling.Seriously,we thought it was just a normal drizzle but when we kayak up straight to the far end of the demarcated area,it was raining heavily.

Raining heavily,no big deal.Well think again.We saw a lighting struck to a tree on an island.We were freaking shock to see it.We tried to paddle as fast as possible to the nearest shore but the weather and the currents was freaking strong and impossible to fight it.Nelson,thought to be the strongest swimmer and paddler didn't managed to paddle as fast.To tired he said.

Second lightning struck and it was damn near us.I was in total panic and had nothing to do but just to get to the shore pronto!.I can't leave my fellow members behind so I went back to them and together we follow the each other and at last,we reached the shore.

Took cover under the nearest shelter which is a toilet and sat there till the weather fades off.When the weather went off smoothly,we went back to our kayaks and paddle straight to the drop off point.Our venture leader was worried about us.

We were lucky this time.If God isn't by our side.You may not know who will end up in the papers for reports of lightning strike.Thank God.

2009-04-02T00:32:00.002+08:00

Past midnight and still awake.

Tired day called Wednesday.To shagged to study man!.Didn't managed to get distinction for CCA.But never mind,still got another a year for venturing in sec 5 so good luck!.

Few more weeks to mid-year man!.haven't even study for Mid-year.Will i make it for sec 5??.Study!!.

Don't know what to say today.Lessons are as per normal.Nothing much happened in school.No bad or good mood today.Wednesdays are always come and go.Nothing much.

i can't believed i have a crush on her.My first time feeling this crush.An average girl;not that pretty or clever.No time for love this year."Must chiong for the sake of 'N' level!"-Zhi Wei.

'Rather to have love than dreaming of it'-anonymous.

Sun ,sand and sea!travelling overseas to enjoy!.No age limits is required.Bali!!

ta ta..

2009-03-30T21:56:00.002+08:00

Freaking lazy to go to school today and lazy to type anything.An empty soul lurking in the blog today.

2009-03-27T20:31:00.008+08:00

God,forgive me in all my wrongdoings to people but this is what they deserve when they stabbed me in the back.

Many people do undergo physical and psychological changes in life.I do understand but it makes me confused how people change negatively in their attitude making them forgetting all about religion and making religion seemly oblivious.With a small problem leads to a big blatant in society thus being so rude and outrageous to a person.

I myself have changed but I know what is right and what is wrong.My attitude towards people is often rude and unbearable to some but in the end of the brim,i always seek forgiveness when the particular person gets frustrated in my wrong doings.With an hectic schedule towards a new lease of life,I am more proned to frustration and violence but when all things seem fine with me,I will get ecstatic and zest towards positive living.

The world is full of bitchiness and blatant lies,we all changed and have to go with the flow of what's coming .I do experienced this situations till it leads to my downfall.I was totally unprepared for such situations like this but I have to bear it and go with it.When it comes to forgiveness,this is where enemies became lovers and friends .They get closer to one another and wish fervently so they won't repeat the same mistakes they have made before.

When a particular friend is in a conflict with you, you will be frustrated in what they are doing being physically or mentally.You will be struck with anarchy and your life will be in chaotic measures.You tend to get revenge to your new found nemesis but let me say this to you,fighting will not take you anywhere but it will bring more trouble and your moral will just be hanging by a small thread.What i suggest is to just walk away.They will hit you hard but they wont get their name high but it will bring their names down to the core.I completely get distraught when my friend is caught with a fight.although it is not my problem,I will find a possible and positive way to stop it with no fist flying here and there.

Here I am,typing a personal essay reflecting about the problems I faced in my whole secondary school life.We often make mistake and end it up with a fight but in the end,forgiveness is the key to soften the person's heart.Don't bear grudges towards them because it will lead to future wars with them.It is better to give and take but most of all,walk away from everything!.

Have a pleasant weekend and a prosperous Earth day.cheers

2009-03-26T23:10:00.002+08:00

Thursday!!!!!....i love this day!!!.You readers probably know the reasons so i won't repeat myself then.

Today's lessons was quite interesting.Although i was restless(as said in my scouting name),i managed to interact and have a smiling day with all of my teachers.Like Mr Anwar ,making a fool of him .Miss Ng was quite weird today,speaking such sarcastic words to us.Though it was quite rude,she really didn't mean it so we as her form class just give and take and have a zesty lesson with her.She even gave us spelling test where i scored 28/35.although spelling test was so primary school,she make up for it and gave us words that most people don't even know how to spell.

After school inclusive of 4n1's smoking session,we have our mother tongue test 2!.Damn! it was hard.Some students find it easy some piece of cake but it seems hard for me to quote the test .Seriously mother tongue and maths is not my typical cup of tea.Hope 'N' levels will be easy for me.

March is coming to an end and Mid-Year examinations is coming in 3 weeks time. Time really fly fast.Like what my scout leader always says,"so near yet so far".I'm starting to study and do revisions at home just to spent time wisely."Will this year be my last?,am i going to see Siglap secondary school again next year?".This questions has always been in my head since the beggining of the year.Arghh!!!!....i want 'O' levels pronto!!.

(The her)

You have been the fire burning furiously in my heart.A weak yet so strong miss oblivion living a life so miserable and mundane.Suffering has always been in your life.Seeing you today is just unbearable for me to see.Witnessing the downfall of you has let tears overflowing in my eyes.I hope i can still see the anxiety and zest in you like i used to when the day fate stoods with us.

2009-03-24T22:51:00.002+08:00

Missed today's lesson due to lazyness.I was too shagged to wake up early to go school.Managed to wake her up but did'nt managed to wake myself up.How foolished am i.Now i have missed my maths and social studies test.At 1.30pm ,Mr leong called asking me why did'nt i went to school.I told him i was sick and i have no cash to go and see the doctor.He is such a good teacher,did'nt bother to see the medical cert. as long as i have a parent letter .

Am i to hush to her yesterday?.Speaking such uncivillised words to her.To be closed to her and care for her instead ,being rude ?.What kind of a guy am i?have i changed?.Everyday time comes and goes so does my attitude . It changes as time passed.To much pain has been shed and now its time for me to seek .

2009-03-23T22:57:00.002+08:00

A bloody hell monday !.Seriously i hate monday cause of this bugging irritating bitch !.I seriously can't stand her freaking attitude!.Arghh!every move she makes and every speech she speaks is just one step closer to stranggling her and kick the crap out of her vigorously!damn it.You wanrt to know who she is?she Mdm Sharul,An irritating bitch!.

I seriously hate monday!.All the stupid karma and bad luck has taken it's bloody toll upon me!.I just went to Bugis just to redeem my laptop and in the end the laptop is still under maintenance.Face it,hours of travel in the bus and in the end i didnt received my laptop?bloody hell.Today is so not my day!.Fuck mondays!i just can't wait till thursday come.

2009-03-19T21:50:00.002+08:00

Ah yes, thursday is my day.A there where i'm perfectly alone at home. A day where no one bothers me.What i always do at home on thursday?, well i always at rest and do my homework and have peace .Having a busy and complicated life does make thursday my favourite day of my life.

I'm so going to Bali.I do love the slacked island atmosphere and the lifestyle of the rich and famous.My parents made a promise to me,if i pass my 'N' level examinations,i can go to Bali without them.How cool is that.But of course i won't be going alone to bali instead i'm going with my brother and some of his and my friends.We are going to have a blast for sure!.

Hope this will go smoothly.

2009-03-18T20:22:00.002+08:00

Now it's time to change to a better person.Switch the way i live,the people i call friends and to believe to my Almighty saviour.I want to find peace whereby no one could even find me.I would frankly be lost into oblivion and have the great escape with the only person i can thrust for;my family.

Dear God,give me strenght and intelligence to outwit and outplay what i'm facing right now.You are so called the 'master of the universe' and the creator of life.

I have no mood to face any bullshit....

2009-03-03T22:16:00.003+08:00

(Apl & Pl of eagle patrol 2008)

After four years of knowing eachother through acedamic and scouting base.We have yet known eachother as brothers.Despite our religion and race that sets us apart,there's no way we can be separated from eacother.Although this may sound a little gay,i do love him in a way that we are bonded together as one sharing our problems,tackling difficulties,having our "PLC's" and much much more.Nelson,your the best.Cheers to friendship.

Back to reality...

Today is tuesday.A day where the student council (comprising of councillers and sports leader) have having their investiture.Being one of the sports leaders,felt proud and honoured being one of the student body.This is to show that my service to school and the nation has truly paid off.

After the investiture,the sports leaders celebrated mrs.Khiu 45th birthday.Cheers to long life godmother!haha.

I have found myself closer to her.Now she is not in oblivion as stated in my previous blog.cheers to dearest bestfriendship qee.

It seems that i'm getting less education into my brain today.Did'nt went to school yesterday was one issue and with the investiture that have let me leaving the class after recess have taken its toll on my education.I'm feeling quite worried now as 'N' level are just months away.Hope God is by my side on this treaterous situation.

2009-03-03T01:11:00.004+08:00

(pictures from teesha)

I GOT A NEW LAPTOP!!!!!.HAHA.Well not new actually.Second hand though.My brother bought it and modified it for me.So heart full of him.Thanks brother.haha

C'est la vie v was a blast.Grandest night of 4 years in siglap secondary school.Although the performance was quite boring and dull,we managed to have fun.Such a pity that ahmad did not managed to come due to his stupid nonsence excuses.The next c'est la vie will be in 2011!.by then i am not a student of siglap but a siglapian alumni(if i managed to go on to secondary 5 of course).

Monday....
Did not went to school due to lack of sleep.I am totally regret not going to school because very lessons i missed,marks will be add on to my 'N' levels(if you know what i mean) . Starting from now onwards,i will stop absenting from school.AMIN.

Damn!,my mother told me to reduce smoking.So shock to hear that.Usually she scold me and gave me stupid lectures but today she said to reduce smoking.Have you ever heard that from your own mother?.I dont think soo.Ok mother,starting from today i will reduce smoking just for you ok.AMIN.

Tuesday.....

coming soon.....

2009-02-25T20:35:00.002+08:00

I found myself drifting apart from her. A former bestfriend now in oblivion as i can decreed.Now i am left with a wonderous lonely heart roaming around like a souless ghost.The past of me and her plagues me with pure sorrow.Now i need a savior that can save me from this pain .i can't decode how or what i feel deep in my heart.it is seemly unbearable to carry this pain.So before i left this conversation.I wonder....

2009-02-17T20:20:00.003+08:00

1 hour of starring outside he window of bus 53 do freshen up my mind.Went to Bishan today just to buy venture pants for this friday's founder's day.Took a stroll down junction 8 seeing the life of the residents of Bishan(i'm just a typical crazy guy doing nothing after school-_-).What bugs me the most was COUPLES!!.Seeing young and old couples really spoils my mood.Here i am walking happily to relax my mind ad there it goes couples walking here and there hugging and kissing.

Life is just getting better nowadays.Living life anti-socially do give me the boost towards studying.With life like this,my addictions tense to be my best friend.I wonder what i will be like when i reach 18.Will it get worst? or possibly,death??.i let you guy deside.take care readers!.

2009-02-11T23:10:00.001+08:00

This picture was taken on 10 february 2009.love it sia!!!

2009-02-11T00:47:00.002+08:00

10 february marks the day....FALL OUT BOY!!!!!!!!!!!

it was my first concert ever and i will never ever regret it .nurin,hakim,asyraf,kevin and i have a hell of a blast.Moshing and singing till our voices runs out were the night's menu.=)

back to reality...

My parents went to batam on mon not for a holiday but for a very good reason, to give the less fortunate orphans food and money.MY older brother and i donated $700 each to them.A total of $1000 was given to them.I felt proud for it although i didnt went with my family , i felt a sense of satisfaction of spending my money.They do held some religous prayers (kenduri).After reflecting on this,i do did my role as a scout which was to help other people.

to qee,

yes.

2009-02-05T22:50:00.004+08:00

MY life.....

Life is full of ups & downs for me.The only that matters for me now is being the person i truly am.I have broken up the friendship i built hard for and it leaves me heartless.School is damn freaking complicated till theres no words for me to express it.Only one hobby that leads me to the right track,scouting.My heart and life is deeply into scouting.It gives me the power and strenght to outwit & outstand the pain im having with my personal life.Such motivating quotes such as "what you do when you are all alone is who you are" is inspirational for me in life.My brotherhood with my fellow scouts/ventures /rovers /leaders is more bonding than my own friends outside the set.

Theres no one like her that can replace the heir to our friendship.She's really my inspiration to carry on with life.I wonder how she's doing now.Is she doing fine?is she doing well in studies?is she coping well in life?.i hope she is fine the way i say my goodbyes to her.god bless.

2009-02-04T00:49:00.002+08:00

3rd feb 2009 marks the start and the end of our friendship.What i remember last year was we started talking in the YOG conference and there goes the relationship & friendship of us.But sadly to say,good thing do comes to an end.Although this may sounds quite silly but our friendship was more than a average relationship girlfriends & boyfriends have.we were bond as one.We share stories,crack funny jokes and listen to our problems and solved it together. Well,i hope to see the best of her. All i wanted was being friends with her and keep the friendship spirit burning strong. Well, this is what i can say,"what you want,you may never get".

"To build a supporting platform of friendship is hard. It takes time and when you have the friendship with the person you want to have with,the flames burn strong and fiercely BUT when your friendship ends in tragedy and anarchy,you are whats is left, Being yourself".

Here i end this post with my last goodbyes to my dearest bestfriend qee.

2009-01-17T00:40:00.006+08:00

"A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it"

You might think that you have gone the wrong path in your life. So why feeling regret? Live with it! You may not know or even notice what lies ahead of you. No matter where you are, there you are!. Destiny awaits u to achieve it.

"Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer and your life worth spent with!"

Outside from your boundaries of home, your alone. No matter how sad or lonely you are, friends will always be there for you. They are your supporters in life. Sometime best friendships can turn into something more , True love. So cherish it before it all goes away.

adapted by ; jean de la fontaine

2009-01-16T22:59:00.002+08:00

Pictures from scout day at sentosa.

2009-01-14T22:46:00.002+08:00

"God only gives you difficulties rather than giving you what you wished and prayed for"

2009-01-12T22:15:00.002+08:00

Brothers in venturing

white stag scout & sea-venture

WHITE STAG!!!!

cca day pics...hope u like it.

2009-01-06T19:07:00.002+08:00

Its past 1 month since i updated my blog. Quite busy at the moment with work ,school and scouting(venturing). Wow!, a new year has started and now i am in the four year in Siglap and also taking my GCE 'N' levels in september. Hope i could make it 5 years as a Siglapian.

Man!. I do miss my old best friend. The girl is used to talk to when ever i am in trouble or so. I used to talk to her in a form of "awak" "kita"( i & u) often during our conversations but due to several misunderstandings , we sort of broke up and go our separate ways. But i say this to myself, "there are other friends out there that could share your problems with. Let go! ". For the first time in my whole 16 years in my life, i am finally bankrupt. Not a single coin nor notes are in my wallet nor my bank. I cant asked for money from my friends & family cause i am living in the independent lifestyle. i got no more to say now. Have a nice day readers. Happy new year.

2008-12-19T00:01:00.004+08:00

yoda

jedis to be

air patrol all the way

the pl , apl and the member

same caption as above

noob shit
air patrol

sexy man
fight!

venture war

VENTURE 09!!!

Finally i'm a venture.Has been 3 years to be a venture and i'm happy to be one.

2008-12-09T23:42:00.004+08:00

two days since i went to bali ....damn i miss bali soo much.Wish i could stay there..

SCOUTING:

Well,two more scout activities and it will all be over.No more scouting.

Not that i will quit scouting but next year is the year,it is time for me to wake up and start studying for the n levels.although i will still come for scouting but i will not be that active when n levels comes.

PLC 08

plc head:Mr.Kenedict aka talking macaw

chairman:brandan(pl)

asst.chairman:aziz(pl)

member:

nelson(pl)

razli(pl)

farhan(apl)
charlston(apl)
jia yi(apl)
jovi(apl)

faiz

wei siang

we will always be united man..together we lead as a team...

lets hope we pass our first class and get scouting names and go venturing together.good luck!

LIFE:

Life's getting better for me.Better of single than to be in love and i miss scouting and jamming with my friends.I've reduced my addiction and my mom has recovered.I've settled my aims and i'm ready to face 2009.i rather be alone than having friends cause they really hurt my feelings soo fuck off!.haha

tc bloggers and fuckoff*

2008-12-08T14:01:00.005+08:00

two weeks only

dinner at kuta

tana lot

bleesed me with long life and good fortune and studies

tana lot again!

my family

father and sons

bali food(shit)

bad english man!

brothers & sister

surf's up bitch!

my bond with my mummy

kuta beach

me and mr.horse

my new friend call steven

kuta beach

planet hollywood

pictures from bali.was damn fun down there with the sunset which was breathtaking.the villa was like a palace on top of the hill that overlooked the bali town.the pubs was damn fun and drinks were cheap.there was alot of hot girls in bali.didnt managed to go and try out surfing ause of the weather but nevermind when im 21,will gather my friends to go to bali together.wanna join?.hehe.tc bloggers.

2008-12-01T21:13:00.002+08:00

BRONZE!!!!!!!!!!!

i have brought back bronze for siglap scouts!!!!!!!

would like to thanks the leaders for their hard work and time to train us for this national competition....

what counts is the learning experiance that the npc team did in serimbun.

the saddest part of all,i didnt went to my uncle's funeral cause the camp staff has no transport for me to the funeral ground which was a few kilometres away from the campsite.i hope my uncle will be happy in the afterlife.=)

life is getting better for me after this scouting journey..i've learn that my true brothers are from scouts.

long live tampines district!.the bond of our batch of tampines scouters will always be untied as one.

three cheers for white stags!!!!

2008-11-18T23:51:00.002+08:00

comp finally working..haha...

1 more week till npc and still i felt uneasy about it.I don't know wether we can get an award like the last two npc competition.some believed we can achieve it but to the whole npc team,its a fat hope for us.

my life,
things has gotten quite miserable to me man.i seriously agree to people saying is useless being alone but i always live with this code,

what you do when your alone is who you are.

i've been living with this code and i really love it.It's better being single than with someone and also facing harsh difficulties with eachother.yeah.

also not forgetting the scout law will always be in my heart..

2008-11-18T19:13:00.001+08:00

comp Temporarily not working soo sorry bloggers..:)

2008-11-10T02:36:00.002+08:00

estimated around 1 month since i updated my blog.busy nowadays with npc coming up,first-class hike,work and personal life.though i get freaking tired nowadays,still got a time to share about my life now.so lets goooo!!!

BREATHE. this recent day,i went to a national health campaign called BREATHE.damn i was fun and met lots of hot girls.eventhough didnt get a chance to get their numbers due to shyness and scaredness,i still get the chance to dance with them.yeah dance.we danced to the samba beat and reggae beat.It was supposed to be a excersise workout but in the end we all danced.thanks to mrs khiu,my beloved god mom who took the sports leaders to this campaign.

i got chance to watched electrico live!!!..was damn exciting especially singing the song 'everybody's here' together with hakim and faiz.damn it was fun going to the campaign.hope theres more campaign like this coming up in times to come.

NPC.national patrol camp.mother of all competitions.hope i get the chance to lead white stags to victory by bringing hope a bronze or at most a silver.

LIFE.hmm...life is abit down recently.Didnt seems to get the answer to whats my misery is.I really want someone to talked to about the problems i am facing with.If theres anyone out there who can helped me faced out this difficulties,i hoped you can help me now.thanks

ACEDAMIC.damn i really miss school.many people at my aged really hate to go school but i'm no one of them.i really love going to school to study and interact with my fellow teachers and friends.next year is 'n' levels and hoped i can get through to sec 5.

FUTURE EVENTS.later in the late afternoon , going to go jamming with my ftf crew but theres a slight twice to the jammers.we going to have faiz singing,me & asyraf playing the guitar and khai playing the bass.hope we get through the song that we want to play smoothly.haha

i'm going to have a end of year chalet with my fellow friends.its on 28.29 and 30 of december.thers going to be drinks around so be prepared to smell and see people vomitting here and there.yeah!.

Well thats about it.tc bloggers.fuck off*

i love you*

2008-10-24T17:08:00.001+08:00

this post is dedicated toyou mummy.hope you get well soon cause i miss you soo much.=)

2008-10-23T05:26:00.003+08:00

It's 5.26 am in the morning of thursday..can't sleep

too scared too go to school.Results are coming out in hours time.wonder if i can go on to sec 4 man?.hmm...

happy birthday to..
asyraf ros & asyraf rab

the true brothers who are always by my side.

sec4sec4sec4sec4sec4sec4sec4sec4sec4sec4sec4sec4sec4!!!!!i want to go to sec4!!!...peace

2008-10-22T02:13:00.004+08:00

What you do when you are alone is who you are...

Others may think you're screwed up..

Others may think you're a drunkard just because you drink ..

BUT

Have the other seen you do good things ie. helping the people? ,at home praying? or doing your best for things?..

What others has not seen is what you do when you are alone
and what you do when you are alone is who you are..

Neither good nor bad..

Depends on the person himself if he's alone and he's fucked up ..then he's fucked up..

But if he's alone and he do good things then he's a good person...

ps; given by r.bat.A motivational and a well-respected and caring leader..

2008-10-21T00:59:00.002+08:00

monday will always be the worst day of my life

seriously the post-exam activities are soo damn boring.i thought it would be fun going to the airport and explore things we did'nt see before but end up just looking around outside the arrival terminal.damn fucking bored i tell you.

i thought i was alone going to the airport but suddenly i realised that haziq and nazri were in airline services.when i heard syakilah and izhar were joining this trip,i thought it will make things fun but end up they were just minding their own buisness.fuck right.oke in that case i wont talk to syakilah anymore.she did'nt talk soo do i.

cannot believe what happen to me.towards the end of the learning journey,i went to the toilet and just sit inside there doing nothing.seriously i was alone.i wander out like a moron going here and there without a teachers permission.fuck!

bloggers,i have no mood to extend more.tc.

2008-10-17T01:01:00.002+08:00

damn it...

few more hours till i know where i will be next year.shit i dont want to stayback for sec 3 man,i want to promote to sec 4 and also go sec 5.staying back will only slow me down in life.I hope mrs khiu,ms ng,mr leong and other subject and cca teacher will help me go sec 4.

dear god,

if ure reading this post,i hope you can help me now.i want to go sec 4 man.i will promised u that i will study hard next year and will make my folks proud.

this is the only wish i want from u.please grant it.

2008-10-11T03:58:00.009+08:00

Jengjengjeng!!

Evil has struck farhan again!.

Damn it la farhan,whats wrong with u fucker.Are u insane already?.a kindhearted person who loves to help and cares for people other them himself now become soo fucked up till u even dare to scold your former lover 'fuckoff ' ?.how dare u man!.where is your pride & dignity?

this are the reasons why he is like this;

1.love
2.school
3.work
4.backstabbed
5.jealousy
6.bankrupt
7.freedom
8.stress
9.fucked up
10.alcohol

This are the reasons why he has become like this.I don't understand why is that soo but i'm fucking worried about his health and life.do you readers really appreciate this guy name farhan?.I hope his misery will be solved fast enough for him to start over a new leaf.

I even did'nt realise that i'm talking about myself on my own blog.Am i losing my fucking mind or it's just my way of expressing what i have become.If god really reads how i feel right now,i will give one question to him

"god,why u create me and put me into this dark world?".

If setan reads this post,one statement for him,

"see u in hell my friend!".

Well actually (jokes aside please),i really don't understand who i trully am right now.A good or a bad person.It's a question i desperately want to know since the beginning of secondary school.Well rest assured,i have found two of my dying objectives in life which is love and freedom.I have found a girl who i want to get to know with and better with.freedom?!,exams are officially over man and life is as per normal.Usual jammings ,pool matches,hangouts,shopping will resume again till hols are over.speaking about freedom,my family is planning on going to bali.yeah!.This is the time where i will dry my pockets out and come home an acoholic.haha.hope theres no JI activities down there.(finger's crossed).

Well thats all for this weeks post.Will update more on life.fuckoff*!.=)

*a way of saying i love u to u all.cheers

2008-10-06T22:53:00.002+08:00

3 more papers and thats it.Exams will be over and freedom i will have.haha.but results is my fear that i will not bear to see.fuck to my results.i only care my 'n' levels and if can 'o' levels=).

this few days tragedy struck.love start to take its toll on me.I cant say much.I realised that all my friends being male or female , they all have their soulmates in their lives.i wonder when will i have one or wether will i have one in my life?.well this is in the hands of god.godspeaks.

another thing in my mind right now.can i survive without friends?can i lived in a isolated world ?.i wonder why people are becoming soo evil nowadays.Pride , Greed , Envy, Wrath, Lust, Gluttony, Sloth.why people are living with this sins?.can someone answer me??.hmm...

2008-09-28T18:18:00.003+08:00

tomorrows monday..the start of resurrection

what i mean is tomorrow is the starting of the exams and wednesday is hari raya.there are some happiness and sadnees in this beautiful week.my aims of my exams results will be;

english-2-3
maths-5*
science-3
mother tongue-2-3
combined humanities-3
FnN-2

hope i will get this results on my report book and will move on to sec 4 and also sec5.i hope what i revised and studied will help me in achieving my results.

well thats all readers...tc..

ps;good luck in your exams and those muslim fuckers out there,selamat hari raya!

2008-09-23T17:26:00.002+08:00

Damn it !..ddnt went to school again.

Was supposed to come to school to settle some problems with the scouts but end up with a fever.Luckily there was some plc members to back me up.Haha.Thanks guys.Well what to do.When you have a fever then its hooray to you right?.haha.It's fate that you must face it.Face the Fact!.haha

hmm...dont know what else to say.Gtg folks.enjoy reading.

ps;siglapians who are reading my blog,good luck in the upcoming EOY exam.study hard play hard!.haha.

2008-09-23T00:19:00.004+08:00

Long time never post...busy nowadays

to nanad,i'm sorry if i hit u that hard,it was an accident.If u dont want to forgive me then its oke then.

lets start with yesterdays(post in the middle of the night) lesson,school as per normal.No big hustle about class.chemistry and maths is the worst lessons i had today cause during maths, i was slepping and chemistry?,well no hope to study cause the class was like a war zone.U readers get what i mean right ?

After school,went to elias mall with fikri and nawit.Jokes around here and there and bought food and drinks(never fast).haha whatever.then went for studies with 3n1 mates.

To this particular person,i hope u will be patient with both of your life and relationship.remember what i said.CHANGE!.Its for your own benefit.cheer up beb.

well readers thats about it..tc.

2008-09-15T20:12:00.003+08:00

Many people will walk in and out of your life.But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.To handle yourself, use your head;To handle others, use your heart.

Friends ;

Anger is only one letter short of danger.If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas;Average minds discuss events;Small minds discuss people.He, who loses money, loses much;He, who loses a friend, loses much more;He, who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,But beautiful old people are works of art.Learn from the mistakes of othersYou can't live long enough to make them allyourself.Friends, you and me...You brought another friend...And then there were 3...We started our group...Our circle of friends...And like that circle...There is no beginning or end...

Yesterday is history.Tomorrow is mystery.Today is a gift....

2008-09-14T23:50:00.002+08:00

respect

farhan!,show respect to your fellow people eventhough you hate them or you dont know them.

well i will show but what if they did'nt show back the respect i gaved to them? instead they backstab me right behind my back?.

i think my only option is to fuck off from them and don't bother helping them anymore.is it a correct move to do?according to religion,eventhough how badly ure hurt by your friend in a sense of feelings or brutally beaten up,dont take revenge.

"a true islam is to have patience , endurance and always stay clean and truthful to youself.that is islam".

after thinking about this sentence , now i realise how greatful am i to help others eventhough they are in a soo called "evil" attitude.haha.no comments ah.think about this sentence fellow muslims

tc readers..

2008-09-14T06:34:00.003+08:00

fishing trip was damn fucked up.seriously no luck at all.i lost two weights becuase of the damn rocks in the sea.throw again and waited for 2 hours.when i reeled backed,the bait was gone.damn shit man.from 9 till 4 am no fish at all.all of my scouts went haywire and wanted to go home.and in the end,no one caught any fish.but one thing for sure,we got angler badge.haha.oke ah atleast we get something good in return

ps;i miss my mummy soo much and forgive me if i didnt went for your birthday party at ritz hotel.this will be my second last scout activity and after that i will stop scouting for a short time and will spend time studying.happy birthday mummy.one more thing,dont go fishing at changi broadwalk.damn sway man.

tc readers..

2008-09-13T16:47:00.003+08:00

mummy..this is a picture of us together.haha.

although i have been a bad child,but my love to you will always shine deep inside my heart.you have brought me up since i was a baby and now you still care for me eventhough i done sinful stuff.i will always love you and when i'm a 1000 miles away from you,i will always miss you and love u 24/7.haha.happy 43 birthday mummy.

2008-09-13T15:30:00.002+08:00

Hi readers!,i got a story for you all,

theres was a gong and a buddha.they lived in the same temple.when people came to the temple,they worship the buddha and then hit the gong.years has past and the gong was unhappy with the worshippers.why must he be hit and bang hardly while the buddha just sits there and people worship him.and then a man came and told the gong

"u are just a metal being melted and being molded to a gong but the buddha has to go through different stages like molding,carving,painting,checkings and lots more".

this story says that life has to go through different harsh challenges in order to get what you deserve.for example,a cadet scout is always been punished for their small mistakes.this is to decipline them and show what is their mistakes and to learn from it and also to teach their juniors when they are seniors in their scouting life.

2008-09-13T15:13:00.002+08:00

wassup readers!.hope u guys are feeling great.

friday 12 sept 2008,the ftf crew went out for dinner at vivo city.although the place was crowded and we cannot pick a place to eat.in the end we ate at banquet at harbourfront.after dinner,went to vivo at just walk around the building.At around 9+pm we went out of vivo and sat outside vivo.We chitchat and play pranks on one another.Arshard was the one who was fooled around.cool yea.Had some discussion about the group future plans of where we want to go and we decided of going to the s'pore flyer after exams.hahs.at around 1130pm we went home and that was it.

2008-09-11T23:17:00.002+08:00

thursday...
woke up late..well not that late.woke up at 6.15am.to me, it was late cause i want to go for health and fitness training.haha.want to loose weight during fasting month.haha
todays study was relax.i was in full concentration man in school.cool right.

after school,mrs khiu took me to the barber.like mother and son sia.damn fcuk man.she asked the barber to cut slope and cut short.damn koo niang sia.talk2 to school and got embarresed by all the decipline teachers.went for scout meeting and went home after that.

after breaking fast,went to changi with faiz ,nawit and fikri.study at the beach.damn windy man.a good place to study people!.bought some rkk and went home.

thats all for today.lazy to type more.c ya .

2008-09-09T02:12:00.005+08:00

now its tuesday morning yea..decided to post a blog in the middle of the night.haha.

well just woke up after two days w/o sleep.crazy right.no mood at all on monday.i dont know why,was it just the normal monday blues or was it just my mood that was conquering me?.when i woke up,i passed through this sentence that i qouted from the leap years trailer,

"its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".

what does it means actually?
is it really means that its better to love someone and to accept the lost of a special someone than not having someone to love at all?.then whats the used of loving the special someone?.ok now i get the sentence.

"its better to have loved someone and cherished those memorable and loving times you had together and also facing the reality that you must face harsh and crucial times together than never to have any love and memorable times in your life".

do i get the facts right?.well i guess soo.but is it better not to love someone at all? cause seriously you might get depressed for the rest of your life just like me and "her".haha.well its up to the person to decide their love fate.

well,i hope i get some comments about this post on my chatbox site.nothing much to say now.will update more soon.chows.:)

2008-09-07T06:42:00.002+08:00

damn!,tomorrow school.i hate going back to school especially during the fasting month.easily get angry and thirsty.man!and somemore haven't finish my homework man.nevermind,today not working soo better brush up on hols assignment.yea,to that particular person,better not put my real name on msn,blog or anywhere oke.change it with hanz blazinski cause it will really close up my identity.and somemore,the spelling is angel not angle.and its my life to follow who i want too oke.you just handle ur sweet bby and i will handle my own life,i rather walk alone than walking with people.fact the fact yaw.well nothing to say just take care people.4-3.

2008-09-06T02:30:00.002+08:00

decision was finally made today..40 days of misery,25 days no use fasting and no turning back to god.yes,abandon religion for the sake for my own evil doings,cool right.well what to do,just face the fact the i'm a sinner and be proud of doing it.no friends will look onto u farhan,family will look down upon you.may peace be upon u people

2008-09-05T01:30:00.002+08:00

going back to the way i am?.should i or should i not.well let me get this straight,if i go back to my bad life,i will risk my family,friends and my religion.but due to overwhelming decisions,i decided that after hari raya,i may go back to my bad life.drinking,smoking and other stuff that is bad.seriously,this is my way of overcoming my stress and fears of tomorrow.well hope no one is to stop me from doing this.people,if you really care about me,let me be this way.this is who i really am.face the fact.

2008-09-04T03:00:00.004+08:00

nothing to do at home soo i would like to tell a story.this story i have heard from my scout leader soo here it goes.

one day,a boy wanted to be an explorer.he always dream of finding new places and treasures.one fine day,he decided to go on an adventure.without saying goodbye to his family,he wonder off on his own in search of treasure.he went to diiferent places he didnt know existed till he founded what he was looking for which is treasure.he was happy but theres something deep inside his heart that was missing for years of his search.he felt sad,desperate and eager to know the pain he is feeling.he went to see a witch doctor."boy,the answer will be shown to you when you get home" said the witch doctor.he did what the doctor said and went home.of course he brought home some treasure with him.when he reach the footstep of his house,he knocked on the door.when the door open,his answer was finally given.his family greeted him and gaved him a hug .

what this story tells is you must know where you came from and always to love your family no matter how mean or strict they are because when in times of difficulties and sorrow,they are the ones who will be by your side and will help you eventhough your at wrong.thats what family is about.soo cherished them!.for me,i always love my mom cause she's the one who will be by my side and i will always remember that siglap secondary is my home and place where i study and learn decipline ,place to make friends and alot more to mention.not forgeting my white stag scout unit.

2008-09-01T03:04:00.001+08:00

this is pictures of the performance at serangoon sec gangshow.we had a blast.although we didnt perform that good ,we get a chance to sing .haha.fasting is coming soo happy ramadan people.

2008-08-30T23:58:00.003+08:00

just wanted to say that this whole week was fun and exciting for me.on thurs the FACE THE FACT crew went out for dinner.we had our dinner at amirahs grill where we were entertain with shisha.haha.though the taste was different from the previous one,it's still and addiction for me.moving on to saturday,the greatest gangshow i ever attended.aziz,faiz nelson and me was ask to perform songs during the show which we did.we performed "its all about you" and "the kill".although there was some technical problems,we still had fun.our papa macaw is going overseas for attachment,sooo sad.hope he will be safe there and better bring home a souvenier for me.haha.

2008-08-28T02:02:00.000+08:00

hie readers , a long time since i updated my blog , so lets brush up on my life.well,nothing fun about this week only theres some ups and downs to it.life a usual for me on mon.blablabla. but on tuesday,badminton competition was on and i was one of the competitors,i've done pretty badly,haha loose to a fat sec 2 student,a scout of mine.well,badminton is not really my sport.let him challenge me to pool and see whose the champion.haha.today?,hmm..did'nt went to school cause i was damnn lazy.woke up at 5.30 and kept thinking of going or not , snooze for a while and there it goes my answer.woke up at 8.haha.get a wake up call by my co-form teacher mr leong.soo sweet of hime to wake me up.haha.carry on with my beauty sleep and woke up again at 2.08pm,this time round got a wake up call by syafi'in because he wants me to hangout with him at the void deck.meet up wth fikri and proceedto his place.we hangout with hime together with ahmad,faiz a and nurin.there are some quiet conflicts between nurin and faiz but we just ignored.hangout all the way till night time where elfie and rafique joined us.we talk and talk and went home.from there we walked and past by syakilah house till fikri sang a song called khilafku in front of her house and i think someone looked at us from her house.quite funny man.well nothing else to say much.looking forward for tomorows activity.hope i dont drink tomorow cause fasting month is coming and iwant to fast fully,dont want my god and family to be upset at me eventhough my life is like this. maybe after hari raya and exams i will be enjoying hangingout and partying with my friends till next year.haha.and also npc coming.BE PREPARED AND FACE THE FACT!.

my fact is right

2008-08-22T01:29:00.000+08:00

finally!.after months of depression,i finally realise she has no heart towards me.now i'm finally feel the sense of freedom.haha.well its fun getting to knw u and love u.for now,lets stay single and party .haha.people!,be single cause secondary cause seriously secondary school love wont last long,example,a girl is in a relationship with a boy instead she is having someone behind him.this will lead to jealousy,lust,hatred and lots more.my aims is to go study and go poly,there i will meet more girls with better bodies and ready for a serious relationship.one more thing,guys must look good yea!.haha.

depress of love

2008-08-20T18:29:00.000+08:00

i'm totally bored and depressed right now..soo lets share.its been days and weeks since i talked to her.i'm starting to feel quite sad and heartbroken not talking to her.i've looked at her having soo much fun with her life & love life but to me,its hard for me to let go of her.i wish she could grant my wish to be with her but the dream will always be a dream.well i got nothing to say of this.all i want was to be with her.

party!

2008-08-12T22:47:00.000+08:00

monday on the 11 august,the face the fact crew went out to have fun in the city.althought one of our members wasnt present,we still had a blast.we first went for jamming , took about 2 hrs and played the songs we often play.i had some drinks and we went off at 5.30.walked from chinatown . all the way to bugis where we had our dinner at zamzam.after that,we decided to go smoke shisha..hahaha..we took on strawberry flavour and we smoke all the way till 10.30.we talk crap and even sing to the song the bar played.fun man.after that,we wnet to marina bay.the night lights was breathtaking and were just sit there while starring at the skyscrapers.awesome day out.FACE THE FACT..manpower 9!.haha

ok ok ah

2008-08-07T18:21:00.000+08:00

today,quite fun to be precised,enjoyed pe soo much.i didnt realise i can be soo close with my classmates well.3n1 rocks man.haha.well nothing happening in school only teachers were damn upset with me.my attendance in school are damn weak.mdm sharul ,mr vess,mrs khiu,mr leong,miss ng were all upset about my attitude.i cant say much but serious i'm very sick.i have a swollen throat and sometimes i cant breath properly.they dont know much soo i better not tell them.let me be a spoiled brat in school as long my facts is right.after school went for sports leader meeting.blablabla.went to nawits house for tcss session(talk cock sing song).haha.went home and that was it .read her blog and the heart broken comes in.

to u,i have no intension of telling anyone your secrets.ok fine .i deleted the microsoft word.but take this fact seriously,i have no intension of making your life miserable.its a sin you know.i dont want to add more sins into my record book.any time i can go.soo dont spoil my name oke .please i beg you.althought we been fighting or querraling,i'm still by your side eventhough you hate me.nvm,atleast you got a bf who cares for you.i got no one by my side,they are just friends only.take care yea.peace

WHO AM I?

2008-08-07T01:57:00.000+08:00

why?!why?!.why i can't be left alone?why can't i be free from anyone.i wish i can just go to a the beach and sit there looking at the star.that's my form of freedom.to you,why can't you just move on with him?.he loves you and you love him,just go with.dont care if i'm jealous with you too together cause you cant do anything.you cant just be with me.your with him so i am forced to be with you as a friend.i can't say no or yes cause this is my reputation to be who i am.so please.don't break my heart again,just go with him.forget everything i done to you,forget the past,forget me.just remember the things i told you and advises i gaved you.thats my only wish.i want to be alone/single till i'm ready to love.i'm a good,caring,kind-hearted,loving,adorable and a peaceful guy who damn loves to help people in need of someone to talk,advises,funds and others.please don't ever break my heart,once you do,i cant help the people in need.if you cant move on,just keep quiet and wait till i'm ready to love.now my life is upside down,no one to talk too but i keep the pain in.soo please move on..

face the fact

2008-08-06T20:49:00.000+08:00

BROTHERS

its a long time i have not update my blog,sorry man.hmm...alot of stories to tell you guys .just one thing to tell you before i start , love really sucks.oke..this whole week i have started by drinking..that was on friday .crazy night man but its worth a fun .went for scout on saturday drunk like shit .then went to mardiana & natrisha birthday pit at night .at the beginning it was fun,damn fun but went it moves to night time it was abit boring.went home around 11 and talk to her.she was deeply lost in this love triangle i guess but theres nothing i can do about her cause she did her own mistake .moving on.about my life nowadays..quite boring .nothing much happening here and there.i just cant wait for monday 11 august .i will be jamming with my friends .yeah!hope nanad can go ah.haha. then moving on tis tues and wedsnothing much ah.school as per normal and post -school activities is also as per normal. today weds no mood at all man.never go school cause i was damn late.woke up at 7.30am.then just sleep all the way to the afternoon.went for lunch at central and visit the doctor.expensive man.hangout for a while and went home.there i fought with her.i dont know how or what is with her but just i dont care much ah cuuse i was not in the mood !. nvm ah.let her go and study or entertain her friends or bfs. my love is ruined.tc dudes & babes.peace

yeah!

2008-08-02T01:54:00.000+08:00

wow!.today was damn fun seyy!.i had the drunkest time of my life!.nothing much to say but i drink alot!..hahaha..

mood swing

2008-07-30T23:21:00.000+08:00

today,no mood at all.my mood was destroyed because of same bus i took with them.yea they seem happy to be together not knowing how people will say if they were together.maybe i was just jealous,or i hate to see them together,i dont know much.i just try to ignore what happend.i have plan on how to get her back together with her friend but it seems both party wont bother to even care about my plans.nbcb.to tht particular person in that fcuking heart shaped glasses,if u dont want my help or advise,u dont need to bark at my face like a dog!.seriously i hate it.i just want to give the best that i can offer.to the girl i loved,i wish you all th best for tomorrow's battle.seriously it's just soo stupid to fight because of love.love is depends in the heart of bot parties wether she or he want to be with eachother.if i can be there,i will laugh at their faces and give a big "fcuk you" to them.well just lets god predict whose the victor.peace.

terrible life.

2008-07-28T01:51:00.001+08:00

wth.my life is mixed up.i always separate life and relationship now its mixed up.how to unmixed it?.early in the morning i received a call from an old friend whom i used to called her "sayang".she was seeking advise from me cause she's having a relationship problem.she told me everything including the secrets she have been keeping from me were all told .i was like out of words.i cant do much cause the problems she has will interlinked to me so i have to fcuk off from there so i just give advises.to my dear,"u just have to face the fact and to conquer your fear,if u master all this,you will have no problem of facing him".if in gods will u suceed,i will be happy that u will do as you said during msn session and i will promise you,if you do what you said,you will expect the real and actual farhan u used to know.now what you see is just the corrupted farhan.the pledge that i do will always be in my heart and mind till death.i promise u.if happens,u failed to do what u planed,dont give up. i will always be here to help you get your life back and do remember the meaning of fcuk off cause i will often use it to u.haha.well to the readers,"hope u balance ur relationship and your life well cause you might end up like me".to u dear,fcuk off!.

my pledge

2008-07-26T01:11:00.000+08:00

I,MUHD FARHAN ,
PROMISED I WILL DO MY BEST,
TO REDUCE S****** AND STOP D******** AND TABS..
SOO AS TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS,FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE FROM PEOPLE
TO GET GREAT ACHIEVEMENT IN SCHOOLAND LIFE,I WILL DO AS I PROMISED AND I WILL MAINTAIN TIS PROMISE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

SEALED!

damn sick inside

2008-07-24T20:45:00.000+08:00

today i was not me.not the normal farhan i used to be.i dunno why.since the day that happened,i was not me.well nothing much to do just to accept the changed in life.about school nothing much just to say i didnt sleep in class.for the first time in school i didnt sleep in any subjects.haha.after school ,went under the void deck and see a fighting session with my classmate.names unknown but they fight good.after that went for lunch at west plaza.chit chat while eating and went straight for gym.slack in gym and went back.reached home one problem comes in.my dearest god-brother iin have a problem with his gf.i dunno why,but he seems frustrated about it.its just a small matter man nothing to think about.to erma,hope your relationship will recover soon oke.may god bless you both loving couple.haha.may god bless me too?,i dont think soo after what sins i did in the past present and soon the future.haiz.nothing much to say just that this pain and suffering will be in my life like forever!.

javelin

2008-07-24T01:26:00.000+08:00

sorry about the late post,went to sleep after i reached home from school.well about school,very not in the mood man.i was sick.i slept during maths class and the first thing mr anwar didi was pouring water at my back.wtf man.i didnt realised that i was sick yet he poured water at my back.i was damn mad and i just went off of his class .i dont care if i esconded from his class or so but i was sick.i was walking around the school waiting for his class to end,when the bell rang,marking the end of his class,i went up to class and he caught me saying why i walk off from his class."i was sick and u didnt even know it yet u have the chick to pour water behind me.what kind of a dicipline master are you,a respectful one or a disrespectful master?" i said furiously infront of his face.he didnt reponded at me just giving me advise not to sleep during class and if i'm sick , just say to him before the class started.i accepted his advised and say my apologise and he did the same too.moving on.after school,i had oral with miss ng.the oral was easy i think.haha.then after oral,i went for lunch before javelin.i sat at the table one sit away from her.well got nothing to say about that just i wonder wether she still cares about me or she had move on.i wish i know the answer.i hope and wish she will have a good and a joyful life ahead.amin.i went for the competition but bloody hell i didnt suceed in winning cause i must challenge with the whole upper sec level so no chance in winning.well i must wait for next two years for the next javelin and hope also to ge sec 5 as a senior in the school haha.i went home i wish i can go home with her but when i looked at her,i see that she didnt bother about me so i just went home.before went home,bought some "stuff".i promise my friend that i will stop it when fasting month,i will do it oke.i promise u.well when reached home.i chat for a while and knocked off to a beauty sleep.haha.well nothing to say much.i will always be sick no matter who or what makes me happy and hope this sickness wont be caused of this "stuff".well so long and to the particular person,if u read this post please tell me if u do and still want to be friends again cause i think u are the only medicine to cure me.:(

fun fun and fun

2008-07-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

today was racial harmony day carnival.was held in downtown east.wake up at around 11 went there and set up our stall.we sell can drinks at $1.haha.lelonglelong lailai $1 .haha.funny sia.den at around 3pm 3n2 took over our place and sell root bear float.very sad man they all.wanted to sell but in the end it was raining.haha.sit there like shit.no one buy anything from their stall.pity them.nvm next time can.hahs.den went around walk2 and play soccer.watch performance by the sec 4 boys.they suck man.went around and around and me and iin hangout with the express girls.they oke ah.disturb haziqah "boncet".haha.funny sia.den eat with them and talk shit la.we pack up and went home.i went home via taxi with tht someone.haha.den send her home and talk crap,after i send her,i hangout with ahmad,nazri,faiz,azhar.dotdotdots i recorded a song with faiz called "was it a dream".cockup but we will try to improve.well nothing to say but i have fun today.haha.peace

bloody fun

2008-07-18T23:44:00.000+08:00

today is racial harmony.went to school early and proved the operation manager that i can be on time.haha.i went to school in my traditional costume and school shoes.haha.lame seii.den have studies and went home to change to my home cloths and finish up the carnival notice board with nawit,ahmad,nazri,syafiin and erma.thanks to erma,we managed to complete our notice board.thanks.den i proceed to sengkang and meet up with my band mates.went to the jamming centre named anaki studios at chinatown.at first we played badly due to technical problems then in the end we managed to play one successful song which is "famous last words".haha.pay our bill and went to marina square to have our dinner.then we went to have some "drinks".after that,we went to esplanade and hangout there and we watch a local band performing at the bay.haha.their songs were damn nice.then we watch and listen to them performing.hope one day i will be performing there.haha.at around 11,we went home.although i'm quite tired , i still managed to have fun and release my stress.haha.well nothing more to say here.peace.

late again

2008-07-17T17:42:00.000+08:00

wow.five times late for school man.wtf.i overslpt sia.went to school at 7 ,wait for bus and reached school at around 7.35.late man.oke get warning,detention.dont care la.my life now upside down ah soo i dont care wether i'm late or not as long i come to school and study.well today not soo good ah.my body damn weak.addicted to that stuffs.hands are sweating,dizzy,cannot concentrate on studies but i tried to endure.haha.all the teachers never come,mr lek went to jakarta for sno,mr haniff mc and mr anwar on course.haha..soo slack ah in class.haha.went for sports leader meeting,was in my best behaviour,cause i need to gain mrs khiu respect to me.haha.go gym and went for extra lesson with 3n3 guys.i learn express syllabus sia.den went home.alone.soo sad.well nvm.i'm better off alone.dun believe in "u never walk alone " shit.well nothing much to say here.peace

nbcb

2008-07-16T21:58:00.000+08:00

today in the morning i got caught for smoking .nbcb sia . noisy sia my mum.i know i made a mistake but bear this in mind im a grown up now its my life to choose.parents are only to supervise us.whatever moving on.today school was shit totally shit.i was late again and my phone was almost confiscated ,fought with that bloody counciller and i kept my handphone.then suddenly they found a matchstick box.i almost got caning sia.i think mr vess helped as the matchstick was a property of white stag.lucky sia.school class was damn boring man.blablabla.after school went to the hike briefing.i dunno if i want to go cause shes going .i pity her alot.her problems and all.if i go,i dunno if she may get irritated.went detention go 1/2 hrs and went home.go buy cigeratte and smoke and home.well nothing much to say.i just miss her alot