BE PREPARE TO FACE THE FACT....

Fucking shagged today.

I have now completed 2/3 dishes for F&N practical.Now it's left with 1 which is my dessert.What shall i cook huh?cookies?.i don't know.In school,starring at $@&!=( is so heartbreaking.seriously

I feel so depressed right now.I'm gonna feel a sense of sadness and grief because of something quite heart killing and unbearable to endure.It's just one of my plague i can't stand.feeling the sense of hurt really puts me in the end zone .This is really a test to fortify my endurance and to face the fact of whats going to be felt tomorrow.

I wonder how long I'm going to be like this .must i hide withing the crowd to face this plague that has been haunting me for the last 1 year?.why i can't just let go of what has happened?.Is it in my nature to feel this crucial pain?.

FATE; Something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot: It is always his fate to be left behind.

Is this word really made me to be who I'm really am right now?why can't i avoid these things that descends upon me.why can't i turn back time to refresh that particular scenario.Its either that scenario or the whole story.If i really changed the past,i will never fell this pain ever.But why i choose this path that leads to everlasting heartache?.Is this really fate that sets in?

Change to a better person is like waiting for rain to fall in the dessert.It's impossible for me to change to be a better man and to accept the lost and the victory of that person .How fucked up am i now?

I've set my laws to be very straight forward.Academic life,Love life,friendship,passion are totally a different things in my life.the only life that is really a pain in the ass in none other than love.To forget and to accept is hard for me.seriously.

i can't stand it.Ever will i be free to be in peace?.To escape to an island for me to endorse in relaxing?.Will love and fate interlock with each other to make a last stand against me and making me suffer?

1 question that is really pressurizing me;

Why am i to close to this love thingy till it's killing me inside?